I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
