i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
