She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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