tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
