SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Life is so much better after having sex.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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