Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
