WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am midnight drunk by noon
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
