yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
