Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
