I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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