I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
