We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Randomize
