so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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