I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
