I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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