I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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