Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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