Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
