I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
