Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize