i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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