So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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