I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
