11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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