he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
