WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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