Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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