I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
