I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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