This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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