My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
