remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
