the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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