i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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