I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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