i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
