I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
