i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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