Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
smell my finger.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
