He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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