Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
