Welp...herpes.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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