Do you still have your period?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you never un-have a 4some
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
