are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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