Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
where does the pee come out of this thing
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
