Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
