We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
