My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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