Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
