I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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