I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think my vagina is haunted
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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