I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
