Non-Jews are for practice
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
