i think i have two assholes
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
soo... how was my night?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
